Does everyone, everywhere, at every point in time, feel as though the world is suddenly changing so fast they can see it happening? Sometimes these days I feel as though I planted a seed, sat down to wait for five minutes, and harvested a watermelon. I feel as though I can't keep up, and when I try I inevitably realize that my efforts are so far behind the curve that I may as well have saved myself the time.
Time. It's really all about that, isn't it? What we do with it, mostly, how we fill the hours of the day. I read an article in the paper a few days ago about a ten-year-old girl and the various Web sites she spends hours on each day, sites I have never heard of, will likely never visit. Her mother, who writes about technology and is thus much savvier than I, reported this as though it were nothing, simply the way things are.
And I know this to be true. When I write about my negative reactions to it I end up sounding older than I actually am, curmudgeonly, even. I don't even know what I want to say anymore about this, except for that I keep thinking about it: the ways in which it's different to be ten, these days, than it was when I was ten, or the very real possibility that it's actually exactly the same and merely the surface trappings have changed. Perhaps the spelling bees or barn raisings or square dances of a hundred and fifty years ago are just the precursors of these Web sites, nothing more or less than how kids spend their time.
I can, however, speak to my own life, the way I spend my own time, and I have to say that at least 50% of the time I spend online is time I wish I had back for another purpose. In fact, writing this, an idea is brewing; I think I am going to have to curb my internet usage, not just because I will get more work done if I do (although I will), not just because I will feel better about myself (although I will), and not just because I am genuinely curious to see with what I fill those wasted hours.
I want to have control over my technological advances and not the other way around. Another mother and I were talking today about how modern children never have to wait. I think this is true, and I think it's significant. There is no delayed gratification, or rather much less than there used to be. Well, it's not just children. I did many amazing things on the Internet today. Most importantly I was able to view the work of my current favorite artist, whom I am fortunate enough to be collaborating with, without having to drive 6 hours north. I was able to finish an article and send it instantaneously to an editor, who probably took me more seriously for the expediency with which I honored her request. But other than that, today, nothing I did online was necessary, enriching in any way.
I need to think about this a little more before I decide how to proceed. This pledge--750 words--is kicking my ass; another one might push me over the edge. next thing you know I'll have to start....regularly exercising or doing whatever else it is people who keep resolutions do. Don't worry. I'm not an extremist. But I want some of my time back. Even it's just to lie on my bed and stare at the ceiling. And think.
4 comments:
I am particularly aware of Time at this time of the year. We've spent hours and hours in the garden the last few weeks and I swear we can see the plants growing. Bleeding hearts on steroids, unfurling ferns, peonies, columbine, lady's mantle -- they are all demanding we stop and pay attention. Right. Now.
But I know you aren't talking about gardening. I spend a lot of time on the computer too -- for work, for inspiration, for communication. Too much time is slipping away and I also want it back. I'm not sure what the solution is yet. God forbid I have to exercise regularly though because that would require time away from the garden.
And that was a whole lot of unhelpful. xo
I'm never quite sure how I feel about the internet. I've discovered it's a great way to keep in touch with friends, it's a great way to track down people who I haven't talked to in years. And yes, there's the practical sense of I can work with publishers in New York while I write from Los Angeles and get art sent to me from artists in Peru or Taiwan. It's amazing how small the world actually becomes.
But I also bemoan what the internet has done to kids today. (yes, I too, feel curmudgeonly and old). I hate the internet speak that has developed. I hate that everyone speaks in initials and that no one can spell or cares that they can't spell.
And yes, time wasted is a frightening thing. I have no idea where 2008 has gone. Well, I do actually, but that's another story. Incidentally, I miss my time at the gym. I want it back.
Not sure I had a point here. Mostly just to say your "Just Thinking" post had me just thinking.
I have tried really hard curbing my internet use. It is hard but I do find I get a lot more done.
And yes the internet has changed all of our lives forever, but it would be great if children could learn to wait a little more.
I'm right there with you. The internet is a huge time suck. And I am a huge hypocrite - I always say I hope my kids won't be addicted to it, and yet they see me glued to it every chance I get. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like without it...but then I get anxious at the thought of the emails that would pile up - the important ones about my kids, about bills, from people asking for a favor, a playdate (there's that word again)...maybe it's about pulling the plug for a week and seeing what happens. But then I wouldn't be able to read this blog. Sigh.
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