Practical Matters

Okay. I have a meeting with an editor at a parenting magazine tomorrow, a hip one I'd love to write for. Am brainstorming ideas and want to write them out in a sort of list. And and all practical feedback as well as any suggestions for pitches will be much appreciated. Please hope on my behalf I can find something other than dog hair coated track pants to wear.

1) The joys and pitfalls of sharing something you love with your child. I am thinking of this past December when Lily and I went to the Nutcracker together. I didn't even realize how much I wanted her to love it until she did. She has no way of knowing, of comprehending, what an enormous role ballet played in my childhood. If she had been bored or had it not spoken to her, I think I would have been maybe even a little devastated, if you can be a little devastated. When she said, "Mama, it is just so, so beautiful," during the loooong duet, I breathed a secret sigh of relief. It's the Nutcracker for Pete's sake, I'm not buying her toe shoes, but it felt important to me that she love it.

And isn't that a little bit of a problem? I'm not sure. I know that children often love what their parents love BECAUSE their parents love it. For example, I would not love basketball as passionately as I do if it were not for my dad. But children's passions can also be their own. My love of reading and Alison's love of cooking stem from our parents' interests but from early on were also different, our own. I guess I'm interested in the ways in which we become invested, sometimes overly so, in our kids.

2) I'm very interested in birthday parties (see previous post--I know I should link here; let me try). Well, anyway, I have written some about this in previous posts. Perhaps a piece on the current trend toward extravagance and a plea for simpler, more child-centered events? Could also try to write about the history of the birthday party, its evolution and significance. And finally, could have a service component: ideas for parties themselves.

3) Some of my other nostalgia-related ideas: board games, the weekly television event or family outing to the movie theater.

4) The playdate. When was this word invented? When I was a kid, you called a friend and asked if he or she could "come over." As in, "Jessica, can you come over (or the extended version: can you sleep over?) on Saturday?" I don't remember arranging such encounters with other kids myself at the age of 3 and 4, the way kids do today. And I don't remember such encounters being organized so aggressively by parents, either. I think one's siblings used to be considered sufficient?

5) The second child. I would love to write about my fears leading up to the birth of my second child, which proved mostly unfounded, but also the complications that have ensued due to her presence in our family, many of which were largely unanticipated. I would have loved to read something like this myself before having Annika.

6) Another piece I've worked on in previous posts: the way the gender roles in my family became traditionally defined upon our becoming parents and how this continues to be a rough transition for me.

7) The secret night life of mothers. The fact that so many mothers I know conduct so much of their lives between the hours of bedtime and 1 a.m. Or even later. This is out of necessity, and is not generally a good thing, but sometimes I like the solidarity of it, the determination we muster up to hold onto the selves we were before becoming mothers, even if it means doing it in the middle of the night.

8) The way my dogs prepared me for motherhood. I know, there are those of you rolling your eyes right now, but it's true. The summer before Lily was born, we lost our 12 year old collie, Johnson. In the year before his death, I was his constant companion, caretaker, nursemaid. I learned more about nurturing and selflessness in that year than in the previous years combined. And then Sadie and Scout came with their own important lessons too, in terms of balancing, meeting more than one creature's needs at the same time and equally well, in spite of the differing needs, discipline, boundaries, the infinite nature of love, the sometimes hateful, often exhausting throes of being so completely needed, depended on.

9) Home schooling. There are so many misconceptions about home schooling, and--I am learning--so many reasons people do it, including so many excellent ones. I'd love to write something about this, debunking some of the myths and investigating some of the successes. This would probably be a longer, more thoughtful piece, come to think of it. Probably not for this magazine.

I will hope to come up with some more before my meeting tomorrow. It's at 3, so if you have any suggestions or input before, say 2, bring it on!