But it's not just my dad. Others have emailed me to tell me that I am making parenthood seem "idyllic" or that I seem so good at "being in the moment" with my children. Although this is certainly occasionally--maybe even sometimes true--the thought that I am giving this impression in any overarching way smacks of dishonesty and makes me worry I am failing in creating any kind of realistic portrayal of my experience of being a mother.
There are complicating factors. First of all, this blog is not meant to be an overview of my life. I have made it clear, here and to myself, that I can write about whatever I want to write about as long I'm writing regularly and in some way am moving forward as I write. It's the moving forward part I'm worried about when it comes to my parenting vignettes. I fear I'm being lazy in presenting neatly tied-up anecdotes or charming scenes with a moralistic or saccharine concluding statement when what I should be doing--in spite of the fact--or because of the fact that my girls will read this some day themselves is striving for accuracy. Or rather realism.
I guess what I'm getting at is that I worry I'm too often leaving out the wrenching, agonizing, messy, soul-crushing parts of my life as a parent in favor of the package with the red shiny bow. The truth, as always, lies somewhere in the middle, is a roiling mixture of both: the joy and the frustration. Just giving myself something to think about as I keep on trucking. Maybe I should make myself write the next time I'm seething with anger or fighting back tears. Fear not: I will be able to find some of these times. Tomorrow, even. We shall see.
3 comments:
when you are in a moment with children and life is hard...after you leave them moment it fades faster than the pure moments of happiness. Perhaps that is why you gravitate towards moments that interests your readers.
I know when I have a bad day teaching the moment is fleeting and the great days teaching last for a very long time in my memory.
Please don’t question yourself in this regard. You are completely realistic in your writing about your kids and very clear that being a parent is often mind-numbing and exhausting. It’s just that you have an extraordinary talent for alluding to the challenges while pinpointing the things that occur along the way that encourage you, or any parent to keep going. Your words are breathtaking in their accuracy and I can’t imagine that you could even consider calling yourself “lazy” for producing such wonderful work. As for “moralistic” and “saccharine?” Forget it. I can’t even go there.
I think your most interesting posts are not those that you describe above. The "idyllic" is not very interesting to the lay reader. Also, they smack of self-romanticization.
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